So.Much.Stuff.

I don't think I've ever realized how much "stuff" I have until tonight. My hopes for getting everything that I have left here in Lynchburg in two suitcases might be dashed. We'll see how sitting on them works. Even staring at my empty closet isn't helping anything sink in. I guess it's good that all of these goodbye's don't seem real. 

This past week at work has been surreal. I've worked in that building for seven years; four of those being full time. I know way too much about the location of every room, office, professor; especially that Christian Service office. I have story after story of weird phone calls, not to mention awkward students that have come in. I have developed incredible friendships with my co-workers, student workers not to mention the amazing professors and my bosses. I have LOVED my job. Most people in this world cannot say that. I know that I've been incredibly blessed. 

As I packed up my desk, I remembered when I had filled it. I remember when I got my nameplate. I felt oh so important and official. I remember when I first took the job, Jill, my predecessor, told me that the job was intensely dependent on the ability to multi-task. She wasn't kidding. This job has taught me so much. That God is using what I've learned these past four years in another continent is baffling. Only Him.

With all that packing today, I'm exhausted. Here's to hoping that my suitcases actually close!

God Is Detail Oriented

The eye of the storm has officially passed and the rest of the storm has arrived. The days are passing WAY too fast. Is there a way to add hours in a day? Currently, my mind is in overdrive. Since my ticket is bought and I have a date, it's been crazy. My to do list is growing. My mind just races and races. There are SO many details that need to be taken care of. As I'm a planner, this is crazy. There's so many things to do and there's no way I can get it all done.

Enter God. 

You know, He's been along the whole time. When I've felt He was there, when I didn't. When I tried to control things on my own when He was the one really in control. God's been all over this whole process. I'm not sure why I thought He'd ditch me with all of these details left. I thought I'd list some of the cool things God has done so far just so that you can see what He's been doing and be as amazed as I am.

Flight: Whew. The flight. I'd been checking out flights on Orbitz for months checking out options to get to Uganda. When I finally got the clear to buy my ticket from WorldVenture, I was then able to check out the oh-so-cool missionary travel website that has missionary fares. I had gotten the clear from the Catharine in the Uganda field to come whenever but I e-mailed the dates that I was looking at. I went ahead, bought the tickets. I heard back from Catharine the next day saying that the date that I was looking at worked because there was a team coming in that same day and to check to see if I could get on their flight from Amsterdam to Entebbe. With my ticket already booked, I checked to see if it was the same flight. It was. So instead of flying to Uganda alone and going through the customs and visa lines alone, I'll be with a whole team. That's if I can find them in the airport, of course. I'm debating on holding some sort of obnoxious airport sign like, "Do you know about Hope Alive! Come say 'Hi'" or something like that.

Phone: I need a specific kind of phone to use in Uganda. My friend Jill answered a huge prayer when she said that she had one that I could take with me there. That was detail #1. There was a slight incident where the phone got dropped and was left outside in the rain for a day. Details details. Because of this, Jill wasn't sure if it would work as it wasn't turning on for her. She brought it up when she came to Lynchburg this past weekend. We took it to the AT&T store to see if they could get it to work. I prayed throughout our visit but deep down, I knew it'd work. Why? Because why would God stop here? He's seriously done so much. I knew that it would work. The AT&T worker came back and said that he found no problems. My God is big into details.

Selling my stuff: A big stresser is getting rid of the things that I still have which consist of my desk, dresser and car. The desk and dresser were pretty much goners within hours. The car is the biggie. I really want to sell it as is and not for parts. Selling it for parts would be a whole new stress that I have no idea how to do. I put all three of these up on craigslist last week. Within hours, the e-mails were pouring in. I'm still negotiating stuff with the car but I have about four people checking it out. He absolutely amazes me.

There's so many other things but truly, I can't bring my mind think. My mind right now is just going going going. If I'm sitting still, my mind seems to take that as a cue to just run through every other possible thing that I should be doing. While my mind is overwhelmed with all that I should be doing, it doesn't seem to be connecting with everything else. All of this still seems surreal. In one week I will be flying out of Lynchburg, leaving eight years of memories and friendships behind. In two weeks, I will be taking a one way flight to Uganda. When exactly will this seem real? Hopefully soon. It'll make all the goodbyes seem more real. 

Of all the unknowns that still remain, there are some things that I do know. I know that I have a faithful God. He hasn't brought me through all of this, made all of this happen to just leave me thousands of miles away from everything I know. That's not my God. My God is not only preparing me for Uganda, but is preparing Uganda for me. He will not just go with me but will stay with me. As I long for true friends who are thousands of miles away, He will become my Best Friend. As confusion of the culture and life overwhelm me, He will be my comfort and guide. I have to completely rest in HIM. This will be hard. I know it. He's stripping everything that I know away and taking me where He truly wants me. 

(this blog took me DAYS to write. when will I be able to focus again!? :))

My Bestest Boogs

I'm sitting here comfortably inside while the weather outside is raging. The sound of the heavy rain, the rumbles thunder, the flashes of lightning. It's an intense storm! Tomorrow, I'm heading to Charlotte to visit Laura and Dar. Laura and I determined long ago when we were roommates my sophomore year of college that we were destined to be forever friends. As my time to leave is drawing nearer and nearer, I know that this will be the last time that I see her and Dar for at least the next two years. I'm excited to spend the weekend with them and am REALLY excited to get to go to a doctor's appointment with them and hear Hudson's heartbeat!

I've been thinking over different memories with Laura to put on here. We first met when she walked in the dorm room. She was the random freshman that my friend and I were to have in our room. It's the dread of every student: a random freshman in your room. Over the course of the months, we realized that we clicked and got along great. At some point, I think Laura called me a booger or something. This got shortened to "boogs" and it just became our name for the other. The next year, we were both Spiritual Life Directors but on different sides of campus. That year we met once a week to catch up, be accountable, etc. I cherished those times together. It was a chance amidst the insanity of life to share my struggles, thoughts and just life. Our friendship has always been based on authenticity and realness. These conversations set the foundation for that and it continues to this day. As Dar and Laura started dating when her and I were roommates, I've gotten to know him over the years as well. Because of this, their wedding was one of my favorites. I was honored to watch their relationship that was so strong in the Lord that it drew them together in Him. They became a model relationship for me and I admired them for it. It's awesome to see how they balance the other out. As they've lived in Charlotte for the past few years, it's been a test to see how our friendship will last when a part. With our great foundation and commitment to our friendship, she's one of the people that I keep up with the most. Once we discovered Skype, it took it to a whole new level! One of my favorite things is video chatting with her and Dar. It makes me feel like we're just chillin' on their couch in Charlotte talking about life, God and everything under the sun. No matter where the other has been, we've always kept in touch. As she's about to have her first child and as I'm about to move to Uganda, we both know that change is coming quickly. Lasting friendships change with each other through life's different stages. I'm so excited to pray and care for Laura even though we're thousands of miles apart. One of the hardest parts about leaving is that I won't be here when Laura has Hudson. I've always wished to be there to help Laura along the way as well as care for her children when I could. Though I'll mainly see Hudson through Skype, I already know that because of who his parents are, he will be loved and cared for. Aunt Sarah will just have to send the lovin' thousands of miles away. These kinds of friends are treasures that one holds onto forever. Forever friends, indeed. Bestest Boogs.

On a Uganda update, once all of the verbal commitments are in, I'm good to go! So, Lord willing, a ticket will be bought soon!! Yesss! :) I have an idea now of when I'll get to go, it just needs to become official. When it does, you'll know. Trust me. I'll be shouting from some rooftops near you.

Laura and I!

The Eye of the Storm

I recently had a conversation with a friend and they asked how I was doing with this whole waiting to go to Uganda deal. I told them that I feel as though I'm in the eye of the storm. I'd say that it was the calm before the storm but, let's be honest here, there was a storm before this too. This whole process of support raising is a rollercoaster with storms of its own. Right now, there's this calm. I have no more churches to speak at (unless any of you know of any that are dying to hear me talk about Uganda?). I'm done with speaking at small groups. I'm not done support raising but I'm pretty much done with the traveling every weekend and speaking a few times a week part. Ahh, the eye. It's anticipating the insanity of when my flight gets bought and all craziness breaks lose as I figure out when I'm going (at last!), say goodbye to all of my dear friends here, fly back home to Iowa, and pack everything I need for two years into two suitcases. It's knowing that whenever I arrive in Uganda, it is going to be NUTS in that everything will be different from what I have ever known, everything being new and an entire life change. 

So...welcome to the eye. Ahhh. It's nice. It's a chance for me to READ (as seen in the previous post). It's a chance for me to catch up with my friends; have quality goodbye's instead of rushed ones. I've been taking this time to get everything ready for me to go when the time comes. God has already taught me so much and transformed me in numerous ways. He's definitely not done yet. He continually shows me that He's in control. I have no clue how the rest of the support is going to come in. I know that He knows. I know that He's in control. I know that it will be Spirit led. I'm excited to see how He's going to do it! 

Now, onto a new book: "Banker To The Poor: Micro-Lending and the Battle Against World Poverty". 

Knowledge and Responsibility

I've always believed that with knowledge comes responsibility. On my first trip to Kenya, this became clear. I could not see, touch and smell third world poverty and then walk away and do nothing. God not only filled my heart with love for the people of Africa but challenged it to make a difference in what I saw. This increases my excitement to work with Hope Alive! as they are making the kind of difference that I have prayed about for years. I often state that what Ugandans need is not just a cup of rice but the Bread of Life; not just clean water but the Living Water. It's this holistic approach that has stirred my heart for years.

These past few weeks, God has been filling me with all sorts of knowledge. It is these opportunities for knowledge that have given me a greater worldview and a passion for the world. I have this stack by my bed of things that don't belong to me that I need to return to others. Much of this stack consists of books that need to be read. I'll reference three of these as they have impacted me greatly.

The first of these is a book called "Refuge: A True Story of Faith and Civil War" which you can find here on Amazon. I have recommended this book to so many and I encourage all to get it and pass it on to as many as they can. Here's why. It is a documentation of the lives of a family living in Liberia in 1990 when a rebel group took over the country. From what I've experienced with many Africans, they do not express their emotions and feelings well. Though we live in an individualistic society, they live in a communal one. They experience life as a community thus making it difficult to express experiences individualistically. This book is written by an American man telling their story and therefore, the reader is able to glimpse into the lives of this family as they experience the instability of life in a civil war and as refugees. For the first time, I was able to understand the human side of a refugee. Often we only read statistics and commonly think that that kind of life is "normal" in Africa. It's not. It's horrific. Every human being is created in His image and thus it is tragic when any one dies, especially in this way. For each event, there are two chapters covering it: one written from the husband's perspective and the other by his wife. This book reveals how our God can do the impossible and highlights His miraculous ways! It truly helped me understand the heartache that so many Ugandans have experienced as well. It broke my heart in a new way for them.

The second is a movie called "God Grew Tired Of Us". This has been in my stack since a couple from my church gave it to me to watch. It is a documentary that follows the Lost Boys of Sudan as they trekked from Darfur to a refugee camp in Ethiopia. After three years there, they're forced out and head back through Sudan to at last end up at a refugee camp in Kenya. The film followed three specific boys as they were chosen, after 10 years, to leave the camp in Kenya to relocate to the United States. Those details could be slightly wrong as I really haven't researched them a ton although now I'm on a mission to. At the beginning, it shows footage of these thousands upon thousands of boys walking the hundreds upon hundreds of miles. It's literally like watching skeletons walk. My jaw dropped repeatedly not only at their bodies of bones but also at the tragedies that they experienced. The opportunity to go to America seems like it will be a trip to paradise. It is incredible to watch these boys as they experience many things for the first time like light switches, toilets, escalators, refrigerators, etc. When two of the boys came to Pittsburgh, there was this sweet African man that was showing them around their apartment. He showed them one of the bedrooms that had two twin beds in it. One of the boys stated something like, "so we all sleep in here?" as to them, that would be normal. It was explained to them that they, in fact, get their own bed. The movie highlights their difficulties in adjusting to American life including the guilt they have for those that they left behind. Incredible.

The third is a book called "The Heavenly Man: The Remarkable True Story of Chinese Christian Brother Yun". The title is pretty self-explanatory. :) This book (which can be found here) has been in my stack for a LONG time (sorry, Whit) and is chock FULL of the miracles of God. Yun pretty much started the house church movement in China that has resulted in thousands upon thousands of people coming to know Christ. Throughout the past years he has been imprisoned and tortured for the name of Christ. Story after story of how God worked is just stunning. It is a challenging, inspiring, encouraging and thought provoking book.

All of these have given me knowledge of the different things that God is doing throughout the world. This knowledge gives me a responsibility. Although I can see how God will possibly flesh out Refuge and God Grew Tired Of Us (you know, that whole moving to Uganda thing :)), I'm really interested to see what God's going to do with the knowledge of Chinese believers. So, that's my encouragement to you. Gain some knowledge. Become responsible.

Tickity Tick

This morning was a morning like every other. My alarm went on at 6:30am. I squinted, turned off my alarm and groaned. Insert a few blinks of the eyes here to encourage them to open. Stumble to a shower. As I was drying off, I noted this weird dot on my arm. At first I just thought it was a little blood spot which made me wonder when I injured myself. A closer look revealed legs. A tick! How the heck did I get a tick? When did it get on there? How did it get on there?

Prior to a few months ago, I had never even dealt with a tick. It was when I was dogsitting for the weekend that I had my first experience. The dogs came in from outside and one of them, my favorite Moags, jumped up into my lap. I noticed a big random black bump on his ear and went to inspect it. Never having seen a tick attached and huge before, I wasn't really sure what it was but figured it might be a tick. I called the Reesman's and they gave me advice on how to remove it. Of course it had to be the most active dog in the house that I needed to sit still while I attempted to stick hot objects on the tick. FYI, I no longer believe that anything hot will make a tick stick its head up. It's getting a huge buffet of food and neither time did the tick budge. Anyway, I at last got some tweezers and removed the huuuge tick from his ear. I don't think Moags appreciated all my effort as he wanted to get away from the hot objects but whatever. I saved his life and I knew it. :)

Back to this morning. When I realized it was a tick, I couldn't believe it. Seeing legs moving and knowing there was a head underneath it sucking away was sick. Groooss. Luckily, Mrs. Reesman was my lifesaver and tweezed it out. I've been researching Lyme's Disease all morning because, yes, I am that paranoid. It would totally be my luck to have some form of crazy disease right before I'm moving to another continent. Here's to hoping that I don't get Lyme's!

On an American Idol note, Adam didn't win and with Danny gone, that's all I cared about. I like singers, not screechers. Danny totally deserved the win though!

On a Uganda note, I am getting SO EXCITED to go! I feel like I can't even begin to express the absolute excitement inside of me! I want to just burst! I cannot wait to get over there...baring any deadly disease, of course. :)

A Case of the Monday's and Marsico

Ah, Monday. It's a day that's dreaded by all. Some are particularly more Monday-esque than others. Today was such a day. You know those days where you wonder, "what else could possibly go wrong?" and then something ELSE does? Welcome to my day.

Beyond being a Monday, there was an added sadness to my day. For the first time in 4 years, I was not on the trip to Kenya but instead was one of the well wishers and prayer supporters that came around the group to pray as they went. It was truly harder than I expected. Maria and I were the first ones there. Oh, my dear Marsico. It would have been our third trip together. We first met at a meeting for the first trip to Kenya. After a bonding trip to Charlottesville to get our much needed shots for Africa, I think we both knew that we were going to have a fun trip to Kenya. What we didn't realize then was how much our personalities would click and that a lifelong friendship was forming. That first trip to Kenya could have been the Sarah and Maria show which had to annoy everyone else around. Really. I mean, we thought we were SO funny ALL the time. A glance back at the videos and pictures from that trip show that we perhaps weren't as funny as we thought we were then. God used that trip to transform the direction of my entire life; He also gave me a lifelong friend that I will always cherish. As we were the first to arrive today, we laughed at the variety of inside jokes that two trips to Kenya have given us. It was only right that the Kenyans going on the trip were an hour and a half late. Before loading into the van, the whole team circled together to pray. Prior to the prayer, the worship leader for the team led everyone in a song. What song, you ask? "How Great Is Our God". You'll need to check out my below post about this song to know why it was this that made tears fill my eyes. My arm around Maria, memories of Kenyan children singing this song floating through my head, I was again reminded the incredible work that God is doing in Africa. As we hugged goodbye, I remembered a conversation that we had the other night. Maria brought up that God has used Africa from the beginning until now to connect our friendship. As His work in our lives continue, this friendship will continue as well. I am so honored that God has put this woman of Him in my life.

God has truly blessed me with the friends that He has put into my life. It is these friends that listen to me dramatically rant about my Monday's, that laugh at my sarcasm, that encourage me when I'm down and sharpen me in my walk with Christ. Saying goodbye to these treasured friends makes me tear up at the thought of it. I bask in the fact that the bond of Christ will never truly part us. Please remind me of this when I'm thousands of miles away from each of them and desperately wishing to hear their voices and feel their hugs. :)

So, to all those treasured friends, THANK YOU! You mean the world to me!

On a totally different non-sentimental note, I was also watching the season finale of 24 while writing this blog. At least this was wasn't some crazy cliffhanger that made you wondering how the next season would start! Whew. Here's to hoping that I can watch the next season in Uganda! :)