Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Answer

These past few months have been defined by questions. There has been so much uncertainty and unknowns as I have sought God to understand what He would have for me to do. It is truly incredible to look back from where I am now and see how He has worked! I remember the absolute frustration and confusion as I said "no" to Thailand. God made it clear that this is not where I was to be but that decision rocked my world. Then there was deciding if Cambodia and another missions agency was the right option. My willingness to go anywhere began sacrificing the desires that were on my heart. At last, God brought me to WorldVenture and the incredible opportunity of Hope Alive. An opportunity that utilized my gifts as well as fulfilled the desires that God had put on my heart. It seemed too good to be true! As I have gone through the application process for WorldVenture, my excitement has grown. This week was my phone interview in which afterwards, they congratulated me and welcomed me to WorldVenture. God has guided me through all of the questions and confusion; a place where I could see nothing. He has brought me to a place that I could not have reached on my own. It is incredible! I am excited/anxious/nervous/almost every emotion to see what will happen next; to see what God does. He continues to show me again and again that this is HIS. It is not mine. 

So now I begin the process that I had avoided for years: support raising. See, this was my biggest negative towards working with a missions organization. Why raise support when I could do what I wanted with a non-profit or NGO? Why live a life full of uncertainty and dependence when there could be security in a paycheck? Ah, because God wants me to depend on Him. It's been the theme of the last 6 or so months of my life. I have a feeling that God's not done teaching me yet.