Saturday, May 19, 2012

Have No Fear: Daddy Is Here

I got a call yesterday from my Pre-Field Ministry Coordinator at WorldVenture. She wanted to see how things were going in my last few days as well as gain insight on what this past year was like for me. For one of her questions, she asked, “what was one big thing that God taught you this past year?” I paused for a bit. There has been so much that God has taught me this past year and to narrow it down to one is a difficult task. After thinking I answered, “do not fear, God is present with me”.

Many blogs ago I mentioned that I went to the Catalyst conference last October and was blown away by Mark Driscoll’s message that day. The theme of the conference was “Present” and delved into not only being present in our lives but God’s presence in our lives. Mark’s message has rung in my ears and prayers ever since. He talked about how we become our own false prophets. We say, “if I do this then this horrible thing will happen”. For me, it went something like this, “if I become a missionary, then I will have to raise support and it will be HORRIBLE and awkward and uncomfortable and that’s not worth it”. Or, for the future, “I’ve never started a school before. I could do it all wrong. It could be a complete failure”. I often become my own false prophet. My fears grow and I imagine the worst. Mark continues to say that often, things are not nearly as bad as we imagined. And, we’ve forgotten the most important part:

Do not fear for I AM present with you.

That statement strikes to the depth of my soul. All my fears and insecurity that I have bound myself to gets loosened. Fear and insecurity become like handcuffs to the dreams and plans that God has for me. They hold me back to a place where I can’t get out. They become my own prison. Who am I to bind myself in a prison when there is One who has set me free? I am free indeed!

Do not fear for I AM present with you.

In all of my fears, there He is. In all of my worries, I can cast them on Him because He is right there. God has not called me to Uganda alone. He’s not going to pat me on the back and send me my way. No, He is coming with me and He has paved the way ahead of me. His presence this last year of support raising was…indescribable. I never had a clue how the support would come in. And I mean, not a clue. There were moments when panic would rise within me and then, out of nowhere, God would speak to someone to join the team and I would be humbled. I constantly marveled at His work. Our God is so big and majestic and yet His intimate and detailed love for me were never more clear. I would do this journey all over again to experience that intimate love from my Savior. When God calls us, He does not leave us. He is present in our lives.

I continually marvel at who God brought along this journey. God popped up in so many ways, and many times through the love of others. People who opened up their homes for me to share about Uganda and those who even let me stay with them on my travels. People who listened to the voice of God when He said to join this team. People who saw a missionary's wish list and cared enough to help me make my house my home. People who gave me rides, paid for meals, gave a listening ear, prayed for and over me, spoke truth and encouragement into my life, and so much more. It was a year of helplessly relying on others and, there God was. Each one of you was like a whisper of God’s love into my ear. I felt His warm embrace with yours. You all showed me that He is present with us all. Through each of you, His love overwhelmed and humbled me.

Do not fear for I AM present with you.

Mark ended his talk with a story about his son. The family was going to travel to Scotland and his youngest son was not happy about it. They tried to entice him with different exciting parts of the trip (castles, swords and unlimited juice on the plane!) to no avail. At last, Mark asked his son why he didn’t want to go. His son tearfully explained that he would be all alone. His son thought that he would be making the trip by himself. Mark assured him that he was coming on the trip as well: “your daddy will be there!”. When I become my own false prophet, I envision myself going through it all alone. Be assured, my Daddy is there.

Do not fear, your Daddy is present with you.

Obeying God can be a terrifying thing. There are so many unknowns. You hand over control to the One who has always been in control and…wait. Isn’t it beautiful to know that the One who we hand our control, fears, hopes and dreams to isn’t some distant stranger? No, our Abba is far more than that. The most loving Daddy, He wraps us up into His arms and holds us. Rocking us gently in His arms, He says, “I am here. I will not leave you. I will not forsake you. Do not fear, your Daddy is present with you…”

1 comment:

Kathy Knight said...

Beautiful! I am so very proud of you! It's true... "Daddy is with us my dear one, never to leave us nor forsake us. No matter where we go..... He is there! Rest in His arms and teach other's to do as well." Tons of love, mammak